Second Weddings

It's your second wedding and you're not sure whether or not to have a big elaborate affair or just a quiet, low-key wedding. The choice is yours.
 

Getting married again? Whether you decide to have an elaborate affair or a simple ceremony, the choice is up to you. Perhaps you eloped for your first wedding and this time around you want the "wedding of your dreams".

If you want the ceremony to take place in a church or temple, you must first ask your minister or rabbi. Some faiths do not allow second marriages to take place in their place of worship. If this is the case, you can get married at home or a special site with a justice of the peace.


What to Wear
Before you decide on what to wear, you must decide on the formality of the wedding. For the elaborate wedding you may decide to wear a traditional, white gown or a long white dress with color in the trim and in your accessories. Remember, a second-time bride should not wear a veil. If you are opting for the more simple ceremony, a suit or cocktail dress is a good choice. The groom can wear semiformal wedding attire or even a business suit.
 

Photo by Happy Gatherings

After deciding to get married, it's important that you inform the children about your plans before you tell anyone else. They need to know how this will impact their life. Will there be lots of changes or just a few changes?


If you are still on friendly terms with your ex, share the news with him (even invite him to the wedding if it won't make an uncomfortable situation). If you include him, your children will see that they don't have to take "sides" when it comes to their parents.

Children need to know that they are still loved and respected. One way to show them is by including them in your wedding planning. Here are a few suggestions:

Let them choose a reading that they may like to read at the ceremony.

They can help you create the wedding program.

Let them choose a song they would like to sing at the ceremony.

Take them along when you go dress shopping.

Have them select their own wedding attire (with some restrictions!).

If you have a daughter, take her to get her hair, nails and makeup done.

Have them choose their own bouquet or boutonniere.


Not all children will even want to be included. This may be a hard situation for them to handle. If they are old enough, they may resent you for marrying again. If this is the case, don't push them to be involved in your wedding planning. They just need time to adjust.

If all goes well and the children are happy with your decision, there are many ways you can include them in your wedding and make them feel like part of the family. Here are a few suggestions:

Have a Family Medallion Ceremony.

Have them walk you down the aisle and give you away.

Let them stand with you at the altar as you say your vows.

Be a flower girl, ring bearer, usher, bridesmaid or groomsman.

Sing a song or play an instrument.

Read a poem or passage during the ceremony.

Pass out birdseed or rose petals to your guests.

Hand a single rose or carnation to each guest.


Just remember, the most important thing is that they feel like part of the family!

Family Medallion Ceremony
If a parent gets remarried after a divorce or the death of their spouse, they may decide to have a Family Medallion Ceremony. After the couple exchange wedding rings, their children join them at the altar. The bride and groom will then place a sterling-silver medal around the neck of each child and pledge their love to them. This is a very special ceremony and will definitely make them feel like part of the family.

Here is some sample wording when the invitation is for a second wedding:

When you are having a large, formal wedding, invitation wording is the same as for a first wedding:


Mr. and Mrs. Robert Jones
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Ms. Katherine Nicole Nelson
to
Mr. Paul Scott Brown
(etc.)


An older widow or couple that are hosting their own wedding:

The honour of your presence
is requested
at the marriage of
Mrs. John Joseph Smith
to
Mr. Greg James Toll
(etc.)

or

Mrs. John Joseph Smith
and
Mr. Greg James Toll
request the honour of your presence
at their marriage
(etc.)


An independent divorcee:
She may send out her own invitation (she may also drop the title):

The honour of your presence
Is requested
At the marriage of
Mrs. Susan Ann Mason

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